At the time, my response was that raising a child was fulfilling in a different way, still requiring lots of emotional energy (eg. remaining calm during tumult, paying 100% attention) and utilizing some skills which had previously been dormant (eg. cooking). But afterward, I realized that my response hadn't been entirely fair -- I do engage in a number of "intellectual" activities as part of my usual routine -- I:
- read to the Hebrew weekly Sha'ar Lamat'hil, with a dictionary and pen
- create and test new recipes, including making many of my favorite foods from scratch, like yogurt, cottage cheese, hummus, pitot, falafel, and granola
- read books relating to parenting and psychology (I hope to post my reviews of some of them in upcoming entries)
- read books related to other random topics that interest me, such as economics, history, sociology, and nutrition
- watch iTunesU courses -- I'm currently working my way through Introduction to Psychology, and Financial Theory
- listen to shiurim from my favorite mp3 websites -- Naaleh, YUTorah, KMTT, TorahAnytime, SimpleToRemember -- and try to take organized notes
and of course, occasionally, I blog.
As I'm writing this, I'm wondering where I find time to undertake all these activities! Newspaper and books are read during mealtime or relaxing hour before bed; mp3 shiurim commonly accompany my cooking and dish washing, which I do while DD naps; and iTunesU courses entertain me while running on the elliptical, which I try to do before DD wakes in the morning.
I actually find it strange that people equate intellectual stimulation with working outside the home. I spent a year working as a researcher in the Genetic Medicine department of a big academic hospital here in NYC, which was supposedly a stepping stone to my Ph.D. in the field (I've since abandoned that idea). And the job was incredibly boring. Obviously, some parts of benchtop research are slow and repetitive, but I worked a variety of projects during that year, and still found my full mental capacity tapped only once or twice a month. Crunching data for a presentation slide, or troubleshooting a series of experiments that provided a null conclusion, maybe. The experience helped me conclude that a biomedical Ph.D. was not my calling in life... but at the same time, made me wonder... how many of my friends really "use their brains" in their average days at work? Or how much are they just mindlessly repeating tasks and utilizing skills they have already mastered? Producing output, as most workers are paid to do, is much different from the exercises in mental input we undertook during our college years.
During my time employed, as well as my stay-at-home (/ work-part-time-from-home) mom life now, I have gained the most intellectual stimulation from activities I undertake during my own leisure time.
Obviously, these feelings don't hold true for everyone... I've heard friends, and I'm thinking now of some working as teachers or lawyers or in high-tech start-ups, express sentiments that are constantly innovating and thinking creatively on their job. I assume such jobs provide a great amount of fulfillment for people who crave intellectual stimulation. And I assume some parents of larger families, who have less time to themselves during the day, do sometimes look to the workplace for intellectual exercise.
But for the rest of you stay-at-home mom friends, or those contemplating joining our ranks -- my life is very fulfilling, too, in the intellectual realm! I promise!
